How I "suddenly" came to be moving back to Connecticut after 27 years away. In one sense, it has happened quickly, but it's also been a long time coming.
While my father's passing in August 2016 was certainly part of it, the process of reflecting on that time tugged at my heart strings in an even deeper way. When I was invited to speak at Chapel, I began see more clearly the ways in which God has been guiding my life, my whole life, but much more so when I let go and let Him. If it had simply been Dad's passing, wouldn't I have moved sooner? As it turned out, I needed to heal some things here first, but to say I was not strong enough then, is only partly true. In truth, it was not time yet. God's timing is Divine, and I did not yet understand that piece/peace.
I'd been noticing what God was doing in and with my closest friend's life, and wanted to find and feel what he was experiencing. I wanted a relationship with God. I could feel His presence in prayer and in nature, and I wanted more of that. I attended a Meredith chapel service. Graduating senior Molly Smerko was giving her final talk and Jennifer Dominguez was worshiping God with and through beautiful singing. Afterward, I thanked Jennifer and asked what church she attended because I wanted more of that. I soon went to that church, and discovered I needed a more intimate relationship with God, and a smaller community.
Sside note: As I was writing that last paragraph, I decided to search previous blogs to find the exact date of that chapel visit. What I found was an entry from LAST summer in which Molly posed the question, in Spanish: "If you were not afraid, what would you do?" https://lunawings.blogspot.com/2017/07/what-if-outside-box.html
June 3, 2018: I attended Lifepointe Church's Cary location at Dillard Middle School, and immediately felt welcomed, loved, excited, and at peace. I wanted to know more about this church and these people, so that evening I went to what was becoming the new facility, and I listened and participated, and met more people with whom I felt a connection. I knew I had found a new church home, and made the decision to be baptized on June 24th at Falls Lake in Raleigh, surrounded in love by some of my closest friends to bear witness.
July 13, 2018 : On my 57th Birthday, I was given some amazing gifts that included time with people I love, an awareness that we are always together, a cup of coffee, and a link to this TedxTalk by Dr. Clint Rogers. I hope you will take a few minute to watch this 12 min video, and ask yourself the three questions: My answer was much louder than a whisper:
"Be with my Mom."
Two days later, I stood stunned, tears welling up, as Erin Bittner Martin sang "Who You Say I Am" and these words yanked my heart strings: (click here to hear that song)
"... in my Father's house, there's a place for me..."
It was incredibly powerful for a number of reasons. For those who do not know, our Dad built our family home, in 1959. I deeply felt both meanings as Erin sang - though I did not yet know her name. Listen to the Hillsong Worship version by clicking here.
What to do? First: Pray. Second. Sleep on it. Wake up. get coffee. open Facebook - and ... there was Bruce Springsteen singing "My Hometown." I then had a long conversation with a friend from high school - (we've known each other for about 40 years). Then went poking around on the Connecticut College website and noticed an opening in the same department a friend work(ed) in, and sent her a message, which began a wonderful conversation and an even closer connection (we've also known each other nearly 40 years). Deborah made it clear I had some work to do - and that I need to aim higher - but that she would be more than happy to help.
Deborah helped me so much and I really thought that ConnCollege was where I would land - but when I did not hear back right away, I did a little digging to find out more about what the position would entail so I could send a follow-up e-mail and let them know how interested I was. What I found was a non-profit called F.R.E.S.H New London (Food, Resources, Education, Security, and Health) and this fabulous image:
I did not see a job opening there, so I dug deeper, clicked on "Partners" and was led directly to Community Foundation of Eastern Connecticut. They had an opening, not just any opening, but this opening: Administrative Associate and Executive Assistant: The person in this position greets all calls and visitors with a smile and helping hand. She/he is the first face of the Community Foundation many folks encounter and represents our inclusive, kind, collaborative values and culture. The job description included "Organizational Values: Integrity, Inclusivity, Respect, Courage, Collaboration, Transparency, Accountability, Kindness, Empathy" and "Duties and responsibilities: • Provide administrative support to the President and other staff
• Qualifications include:
• Team player, collaborative, positive and a sense of humor
• Proven ability to manage multiple projects and tasks simultaneously
• Organized
• Ability to set priorities
• Must work independently and in a team environment
• Solid experience with Microsoft products
• Excellent interpersonal and communication skills, including pleasant telephone manner"
I had a feeling this was "it" - Deborah had already helped me re-write my cover letter and resume, and so, with just a few changes to my cover letter, I hit "send" and off it went at 7am on Monday, August 27th and at 3pm I received a phone call from CFECT's Janet Grant. Later that week we used FaceTime for my interview. I sensed it went well, but was told I'd not hear back for a few weeks, as the President and CEO was on vacation and she would need to speak with me as well, since I would also be her Executive Assistant if I got the job.
In the meantime, Deb sent along another ConnCollege opening that "might be a good fit..." and so, I hit send on what would be only my 3rd and last job application on Wednesday, Sep 5th. I continued to do whatever was "next." The request for a second interview was in my e-mail when I returned to my desk after chapel on Sept. 19th, and took place the following Monday. A week later, on October 1st she called my references, and then me.
Quickening within and without. God has created a path, and everything is coming together... By fully embracing what God's work in my life, being willing to pause, listen, open my heart, and allow the process of writing, rewriting, and sharing my spiritual journey, with a focus on the two years since my father's passing, combined with the love and support of friends and family has changed my life.
In three short months, I went from hearing the whisper, to securing a job that feels right, to making arrangements to return to Pawcatuck, CT, 13 days before my Mom's 82nd birthday. Our "stuff" will leave NC exactly 22 years after we arrived : Halloween 1996. The next morning, we will rise before the sun, and head north with our pets, Misty and Kendall, and enough clothes to get us through the time it takes for our "stuff" to arrive in CT.
One of the many lessons I am learning:
Through God, all things are not only possible, but powerfully and intricately connected.
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